Tuesday, October 4, 2016

And the Dark Side

And here are some updates on the not-so-awesome stuff

  • B is again having trouble paying attention and staying on task at school. I thought maybe it'd be better this year, especially since his behavior is so different at home...but a few minutes with his teacher confirmed otherwise. We are awaiting a phone call from the school psychologist and "service coordinator" to discuss how to best help him. 
  • L is still full of fury and lashing out. Its mostly at me, but sometimes he gets a little too carried with the the "pretend fight play" at school and inadvertently hurts his friends, too. Its a good thing he is tiny and tires easily---it keeps him from exerting too much damage. 
  • I'm still exhausted most of the time. Just utterly devoid of energy, like I'm coming down with something (or pregnant). I just feel like sitting and often can't muster up the energy to do what needs to be done around the house. G has had to fill in quite a bit. When I DO have energy, I run around like crazy, trying to accomplish things which leaves me...tired. I'm pretty sure its the P@xil, I can't pinpoint anything else (yes, I've had my thyroid/iron/etc.. checked)
  • I also have various other random common and not-so-common side effects. UGH. Teeth grinding? Increased sweating? Who knew!?
  • As a result of the exhaustion, everything is unorganized and its starting to wear on me. The boys' floor is covered in pants (many of which don't fit anyone) and sweaters and jackets as we are in-between seasons, and there is no room for shorts AND pants, long sleeve AND short-sleeved tops in their drawers. B is wearing high waters and crop tops. I've got various piles of things to give away all over the house. Our plants all died when it didn't rain for a couple of weeks, and only a few came back to life after the rainy season returned. ETC....without end. I am trying out a "weeknight chore schedule" with one unessential but long overdue 15-20 minute task. Last night was "swap out shorts for pants", and tonight's is "wrap L's presents"...so nothing onerous. 
  • Speaking of pants, the other side effect---weight gain. My pants do not fit and its annoying. I tried to look up the mechanism for this but it is unknown but suspected to be at least partially due to the decreased energy (leading to decreased movement). I can buy that. I'm also paradoxically more hungry, though. Nothing to do but the old "eat less, move more" routine. Or buy new pants. I haven't chosen. 
  • There is no "magic system" to being motivated and getting s&it done at work. It just either IS or ISN'T. Some days there IS...so much. But I can't make it happen. I CAN rely on good ol' self-discipline though, and just march myself through the tasks. That's what planning is for...I don't need it on the good days, but on the off days, having it all laid out makes it easier to take that next step. And some days you just cut your losses. 
  • Today may be one of those days. I had a great morning---made good progress on my "research strategy" and then the headache set in; even lunch, water, and NSAIDs haven't touched it. I think I'll take a real break away from the laptop for a little while to see if that helps. 


  1. So if I'm not on Pxil and having these side effects, what is wrong with me (I've been assuming peri-menapause)? Though Cloud's suggestion of drinking Propel does seem to help with the headaches (gatorade not so much).

    Good luck with everything!

  2. I've been struggling with fatigue, too. And then stress about all the stuff that's not getting done. I even went to the doctor and had my thyroid, iron, blood sugar, and others checked (also a pregnancy test). Turns out I'm just tired. Which makes some sense, since I don't sleep enough. But at the same time, nothing has really changed in years. So I'm not sure why it's getting to me now. I don't know what to tell you.