Thursday, January 10, 2019


Guys, switching up psych meds is a real b&itch. I was doing OK until Friday, I sort of fell into a hole that I'm trying to climb out of and couldn't motivate to do much of anything that wasn't absolutely necessary at work and home. G did kick me out of the house to exercise and to go to the eyeglass store, so I did get those things accomplished on the weekend.

I'm feeling better today, maybe because my neurotransmitters are evening out, or because I just 100% forced myself to stop avoiding things and its satisfying to get sh&t done.

It doesn't help that I've taken away a lot of my go-to pick-me-up strategies (wine, shopping) so I'm having to dig real deep. I spent a lot of time zoning out on my phone (there is plenty to waste time on even without FB or IG). I have been eating whatever I feel like because I just can't deal with hungry on top of everything else, and have been going to bed extra early because just making it through the day acting like everything is peachy is exhausting.

I'm reading "The Year of the Flood" by Margaret Atwood (sequel to Oryx and Crake) and they use "fallow" as a metaphor for depression, where the person just needs to rest until they are ready to grow again, and it definitely resonated with me. Unfortunately or, actually fortunately, my life doesn't allow for such indulgence so after wallowing for a couple of days, I need to buck up.

I actually AM looking forward to a nice dinner out with G on Sunday (my treat for surviving the holiday trip), and a friend's birthday bash later in the month (booked sitter for both!). Also scheduled a weekend to see my sister in late February and my extended family is planning a reunion this spring that I am really going to try to make. And its almost time for summer/camp planning already!

Sorry this is a downer of a post, but writing regularly is on my "to do" list for this year! I'm planning a 2018 Books post, and some updates about our routines/schedules. What else would you guys like to read?

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