Wednesday, March 25, 2020

Six of one...

Soon after I wrote about how happy I was to be at work, I began to miss being home with my family. The vibe is weird at work, our office space is empty, patients and staff are all anxious...there has been a lot of drama about proper procedures (do fellows come in to round or should attending go on their own? do we all wear masks? etc...) and people on both sides of the issues are worked up and "not their best selves" to put it nicely.

And G is struggling trying to work full time with no child care. The kids are struggling with having to work on boring "work packets" provided by the school district and having no outlet for their energy on the rainy days. I am struggling coming home from a taxing day to everyone expecting me to automatically be ready to take over when I really really really need a few minutes to myself. G is frustrated because he feels like his whole day is spent providing food for the kids, loading and unloading the dishwasher and washing machine, walking the dog, running necessary errands (pharmacy, grocery) and I yelled at him last night that we could just leave the dishes and let the kids get their own damn snacks and stop being a martyr...not my "best self" either.

It was tough being at home, and its tough being at work is the bottom line. Ultimately having both of us at home, so we can each have some dedicated work/free time worked much better for our family last week.  I am trying to plan the next few weeks with this in mind.

My goal: AM and PM work blocks of 3 hours for each of us. For me, these will be filled with telehealth visits (4 half day sessions next week) or concentrated writing blocks. Video conferences/calls/etc may take up some of this time, but maybe I can multitask and listen in while making lunch or whatever because while necessary, they are not leading to "productivity" for me in either clinical or research realms. I need to work with G so we can stagger our work blocks.

Ideally my work blocks would be 8:30-11:30 and 1-4. This should get me time to spend with the kids mid-day (lunch and recess) and early evening (snacks, inside/outside fun) and G can handle breakfast (he could work 10-1 and 2-5, the kids wake up around 9ish).

Other things I need to plan: alone time for both G & I separately AND together (movie date in basement while kids do something upstairs or "happy hour date" while kids play video games?) and more virtual socializing for ALL of us. I have a Zoom meeting book club tonight and we are doing a family happy hour on Friday with G's cousins.

Anyways, off to round. Stay safe and stay sane friends.


  1. Yeah....I would love to be able to go to work right now. We aren't allowed in our offices. Mostly that means I'm not working. That's both a privilege and a loss.

    The only real alone time I get is if I leave the house (like on a walk). I have rarely wanted another adult in my house--I'd love one about now.

    This moment is hard, no matter the personal situation. Hugs.

  2. Could you hire a nanny to offload some of the parental responsibilities from your husband so he can get work done? I sometimes imagine that we don't need our childcare, but then I remember that my days then turn into constant requests for food (even if I tell her to get it herself, she still interrupts me first) and entertainment. Technically, you're an essential employee, and could arrange for this to happen. IDK.