Monday, August 19, 2013

Random assorted...

The weekend was mostly good. There were several changes in plans.
  • I did end up going to the book club because G pointed out the true reason I wasn't going (that I didn't realize until he mentioned it) which was me being stressed about him being stressed alone with the kids. He felt like an ass and insisted I go, and I did, and I enjoyed the break and the socialization.
  • G ended up coming along on the outing Sunday (my friend still met us there) and it was really fun for the kids and not bad for the old folks, either.  The weather was perfect for being outside, and I'm glad we took advantage. Plus this park is done for the year so this was our absolute last chance.
  • Sunday evening the tables were turned and I was the one that literally lost my head over B's tantrum/hitting/whining. (It started with B upending the bus toy that L was sitting on so that he fell backwards and hit his head on the concrete). It was not pretty. And ended up with me drinking a wee bit too much, ordering take-out and eating/spending a wee bit too much, and staying up a wee bit too late and now being completely done with Orange is the New Black and searching desperately for a new distraction. 
  • I woke up Monday with the faint smell of failure on me. I felt guilty for losing my cool with B (in my defense, I tried all the tricks I had up my sleeve and nothing worked. Nothing.) and for using what could be called "unhealthy coping mechanisms".  But, I shook it off and went on with my day. I am a work in progress.
I took the morning off to get B to a 10:30AM dentist appointment. B is a natural at the dentist; he loves playing in the waiting room, asks politely for the chocolate flavored paste, answers all the dentist's questions and opens his mouth wide while watching a show on the TV they have over the chair.  I'm dreading taking L, and purposefully didn't sign him up for dental insurance this academic year. He screams bloody murder for hair cuts and forget about the doctor, they had to get an extra person (in addition to me and the doc)  to hold all 20 lbs of him down to get his ears checked last time. On the other hand, B chats pleasantly with the hair dresser (and has been since his first haircut at 1.5 years) and offers his arm out for shots.

I am proud of how self-possessed B has become around adults. He was talking and joking with the dentist like it was nothing. He's still super awkward around kids his age, however. Last week, B asked G "Daddy are you my best friend?". G replied in the socially appropriate "I'm not your friend, I'm your father". Then B went on to (quite pitifully) explain how all his little friends had paired up into bestfriendships and he was left out and G felt like an ass.

On the way to the dentist I mentioned something happened to me "a long time ago, maybe when I was 20?" B asked when I would "get 20 again" and I had to tell him, "never. I'll never get 20 again". Then I explained how when his birthday came around, and he turned 4, he would never ever be 3 again..."so make sure you enjoy it". He didn't get the poignancy.

The timing of the dentist appointment gave us a lot of extra time. G & L left the house at 8:30, so B & I took his scooter out around the 'hood, then came home and chilled (he listened to music and I did email). We dawdled to the dentist and were done in 20 minutes. Then we had over an hour to spend before he could go to school---the kids go out to the park from 11-12 and his teacher told us earlier that unless he could make it before 11, he'd have to wait until 12. So I took him to the park and played for about an hour. It was relaxing.

I think I'd really enjoy having a day off each week, if I only had one kid to watch that day. No, who am I kidding, if I only had B to watch. But it would have to be a proper day off, not "working from home" while also performing childcare, which, I seriously don't get how people do this. I know they do it, I've read it on blogs (so it must be true!), but it must be inordinately inefficient and stressful, and half-assed unless your kids are champion nappers, or you stay up all night working.  Also, B was wonderfully behaved today, otherwise I wouldn't be saying this.

Hope your weeks are starting off great.


  1. Last time I brought Mabel to the dentist she was exactly four and a half, and it was basically a disaster. She didn't scream, at least, I suppose, but she flatly refused to open her mouth, so that was that. She had been fine at the dentist when she was three (though a filling did put her off somewhat).

    I just told them she'd be fine for the next checkup when she's five, and we hightailed it out of there. I'm crossing my fingers that it'll be true.

  2. I have to take the children to the dentist this fall and I dread it. We shall see. I am taking them one at a time, though, since I doubt it would work otherwise.

  3. Hanging out with one kid can be fun. I'm trying to figure out ways to engineer this into my life more often. I know people do "dates" with each kid, but with three kids that starts to add up. Maybe I can just aim for once a month and go from there.

  4. I work from home, but I really only accomplish anything when it's my husband's turn to mind the kids. (He also works from home now.) I'm the worst multi-tasker I know so I long ago gave up the hope of sneaking any work in when my kids are home and awake. Like you, I know people do it; I'm just not one of them.

    I smiled at B's comment about aging. My daughter is currently obsessed with the same thing. Last night, she told me that she was going to be a baby in my belly again when she turns three. It was just so sweet and so melancholy - so poignant, as you noted - that I couldn't bear to correct her.

  5. Good stuff! Not the losing your temper part, but otherwise... I think it's important for parents to take turns being the one who lose their s&$). I tend to feel superior when I am able to keep my cool and my husband isn't, and then I get my comeuppance, and it serves me right. Anyhow, I hope you can shake off the feeling of failure quickly. Doesn't sound like failure to me, just like letting lose a little.